Am I Back to Living a Life of Single Mom Again?
Last Wednesday going on Thursday, around 12mn, I heard a loud bang on our gate. My husband was banging and kicking the gate. He was shouting and I got so scared. So, I asked my mom to open it because every time my husband is drunk he tends to verbally abuse and insult me to the highest level. Then my mom opened the gate and reprimanded my husband because he was being noisy. He pushed my mom but still didn’t go inside and again walked to the road. His friends went with him and pleaded that he goes home and sleep. He was still chaotic but after a few minutes, he went home and slept at the living room. I prepared a place for him to sleep because I am afraid he might run over the baby when he is sleeping.
When morning came, he didn’t go to work. He slept all day. When he woke up, we didn’t talk. We have been like this for a week now because we had a previous fight about his drinking and now this.
Around the evening, I told him of what he did. I told him that I got scared of the things he had done which he claimed he didn’t remember. Every time he is drunk and hurt me verbally, he always said that he didn’t remember what he said or done. I told him that it’s enough. I couldn’t take it anymore to be afraid of him when he gets drunk. It’s very traumatic for me and makes me so feel down. So I told him to please change and if he doesn’t, I will ask legal help to keep him away from me and the children, verbal abuse is still abuse and I know I could get protection from it if I wanted.
Anyway, I also told him if he won’t change maybe its better that he leaves the house. Staying together is making our marriage worst because he wouldn’t give up his drinking. He always thinks that he is only drinking for fun and enjoyment. He believes I could still tolerate his behavior.
Then I was shocked by his reply. He said he will leave us. I never thought he would say that because I thought he loves me and our children than his drinking. Anyway to make the story short, he did left us. Last Friday, he left the house with some of his clothes and until now he hasn’t returned.
We had fights like this before since we got back together but he never actually leaves but now he did. So it made me believe that he has another woman again. Because like before, he was confident to leave me because he had found a woman who would support him with his drinking and would show concern. But when his other woman has no money anymore and could no longer support his wants, he left her and came back to me. Now, I think he has another woman again because he never leaves another one if he couldn’t find another to replace where he could feed on its kindness.
Another thing, he always leave me with many financial problems just like before. Like now, we have many debts to pay (good for him because it’s always on my name), the children’s going back to school thus we need money for their school needs and its Bella’s dedication.
Before, I was able to confirm he had another woman on our son’s child dedication. He was not able to attend because he was with his another woman. Now, it’s our second daughter’s dedication this coming Saturday and he is nowhere to be found. He knew I needed his help financially and morally but he is nowhere.
So, it made me ponder so hard, am I back living a life of a single mom again? Is this the finality of all the sacrifice I made to keep this marriage together? Am I born to be alone? Is this it? My confusion is making me sad.
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Hi Mommy Rubz.
I couldn’t say I’m shocked but I’m definitely speechless. Maybe it’s for the best? I don’t know…All I know is that a marriage is a 2 way street, both spouses should make the effort and sacrifices, hindi pwedeng yung isa bigay nang bigay tapos yung isa receive lang nang receive.
Hugs
.-= Joey´s last blog ..I is for investment =-.
Rubz…I want to hug you! I may not know the gravity of what your husband did to you but I know you’re hurting! If I were in your shoes I’d let him go and never accept him again
This is best for you and for the kids though I know it would mean you need to work double to make both ends meet.
Hugs Rubz, your kids are your treasures. God will not leave you now.
Iris
sis sorry to hear that
.-= Sherry´s last blog ..Prize from Mommyko =-.
This is so sad. Maybe you should just accept that your husband is never gonna change. You have given him a second chance but still he did this to you. You can ask help from a lawyer on how to ask financial obligation from your hubby. It’s his responsibility to give you and your children the money that you need. If he fails to do so, he’ll go to jail. Just be strong and I’m sure God will help you.
.-= Lourdes Espanol´s last blog ..Contests! Contests! Contests! =-.
hay mommy…i really don’t know what to say. i think that the characters in The First Wives Club on TV5 are already absurd. i didn’t know that things like this happen in real life. i don’t know what to say mama except that to present everything to God. the only thing that we know right now is that God is sovereign and all your troubles are not yours alone but also God’s. i feel sad with you momi.
.-= mama´s last blog ..Dindin’s New Brand of Water =-.
You do not need depend to your husband, go to work, you also have children need to school. I am sure you are a tenacious woman.
.-= Student´s last blog ..Students leaving college =-.
Is your husband know when you write this blog?
.-= Kitchen´s last blog ..Kitchen cabinet =-.
I’ll Include you and your family in my prayers..
Hugs to you mommy Ruby.. kaya mo yan.. God has many plan.
.-= Darqueangel´s last blog ..Glorious Day in Governor Andres Pascual College =-.
Thanks for leaving your comments. It really warms the heart.
Whatever happens, I still think that God is good all the time! :yes:
Take heart, all is not lost yet. You may not have a husband, but I believe you have a supporting family. For now, focus your attention on your children for now, they need you more than your husband. It’s hard to be a single parent, but it will be more harder for you if you let your husband affect you like this for too much.
.-= Cotton Candy Buzz´s last blog ..Hooked on games =-.
I’m really sad for you, Rubz, but I know that Jesus will be your comforter and friend and He will make sure that you will be provided for because God is our Provider and our everlasting Help in time of need. Do not fear to be alone because God is always with you. If you seek Him, you’ll find Him and if you call His name, He will answer you and guide you and tell you what you need to do. Be strong for your kids. Be blessed always. I thank the Lord that even right now, He is revealing to you His perfect will for your life, in Jesus’ name.
.-= Carmen Araneta´s last blog ..Spiritual Food: "Do Not be Drunk with Wine, But Be Filled with the Spirit" =-.
It’s really a sad thing to hear that family are torn apart because of vices. Mommy Rubz I’m a man and a daddy, I drink but I never lift a finger or single words to hurt my wife or my son. Guys like that are cowards they use their brutal and strength when they are drunk. Maybe it’s about time that you give him a lesson. You are right verbal abuse is still an abuse. Guys with that attitude shouldn’t be tolerated at all.
Mommy rubs sorry if I get to harsh on my words and I don’t know how much you love that guy but I just blaze in anger when ever I heard that guys hurting their wife and their kids.
Just always remember that there’s someone bigger than everything and that is God. Just always pray and ask for guidance, especially in times like this.
Mars, I’m sorry with your predicament. I seriously have no idea what to say. But personally, I think, him leaving you and the kids is one of the very few best things he did. First, you don’t deserved to be abused in anyway, second, dagdag lang sya sa problema mo, hindi na nga nakakatulong,nakakapwerhuwisyo pa, third, he is not a good role model for your son, gosh I could go on and on with so many reason that you being a single mom I think is the best.
Enough is enough! you already gave him a second chance and he blew it off.It’s his lost not yours!
.-= Willa´s last blog ..New Digiscrap =-.
be strong mommy.. I can feel ur pain.. kasuhi na lagi na imuha bana ug VAWC para bahalag mulaka w xa asa man xa nag speednoha paingun, naa ka hold sa iyaha sweldo— for the kids, dili para sa imuha.. and it will be a big help for you financially..
.-= Mommy Dharlz´s last blog ..I Love These Organic Household Products =-.
I understand how you feel. Yes, God is good. He has reasons why He allows things to happen. They may be beyond our comprehension but He will reveal His plans to us in the right time. Keep the faith!
.-= Cherleen´s last blog ..First Day at Work =-.
I will pray for you and your children…I really feel you and what you are going through. Just be strong and hold on to God. He will give you strength and wisdom to the right path…
.-= seth´s last blog ..Good Vision- Go Lasik! =-.
Mom Rubz…I don’t know what to say…I’m so sad to hear this but I’m hear whispering prayers for you. I believe that God has ways when there seems to be no way…Just be strong in Him sis…
.-= genefaith´s last blog ..Open letter to our landlord =-.
Mommy Rubz, I admire you for giving such high value to your marriage and for doing all that you can to keep your family together. I hope your husband changes for the better but if he wouldn’t I think you and your kids are better off without him. Having a husband who cannot change for the betterment of the whole family is like introducing your kids to an unworthy model that there are eventually forced to look up to. Be strong and brave… just pray… I’ll be praying for your family too…
.-= Ellen Joy´s last blog ..Mommy Moments: Mother’s Day 2010 =-.
Hi Mommy Rubz… I feel you. I have 2 friends who were in the same situation kaya I know how depressing is this, thinking na this is not the first time. I also don’t know what to say but please be strong and always look at the brighter side. You did everything to save your marriage so you cannot blame yourself if it failed. Marriage will never be saved kung isa lang ang nagwowork. My parents separated also when I was young. It was hard to accept at first but I realized they did the right thing. Ayaw ko naman kasi nakikita at naririnig ko sila nag-aaway.
Please be strong and don’t let this situation ruin you.. I’m sure in time, he will realized what he has done. Goodluck and always look at the brighter side. Madami nagmamahal sa yo kaya don’t lose hope =)
.-= bams´s last blog ..18 weeks Pregnant =-.
sis, I just hope that the time will not come na mapuno ka na at di mo na kayang magpatawad…my sister has been to your situation….until such time that she fell out of love and realized that she should love herself more so that she can share the love specially to his kids…..
no comment po,bsta kaya mo yan mommyrubz maybe God has a great plan for you after this and i hope tlga na ma keep yung marriage till the end..god bless po
.-= iamronel´s last blog ..How many blogs that i have? =-.
Mommy Rubz, I super admire you kc being honest with ur current situation is hard let alone being with that kind of man. I agree with most of the comments that maybe it is time to move on. Maybe this is His big plan for you. I know its difficult but in time you will get all your answers. Just keep the faith and stay strong esp for ur children.
Sometimes it is better to be alone than be with someone who keeps on hurting u. Only u can decide what and when is enough.
Hugs and Kisses! :-*
.-= yuuki´s last blog ..MMS: Techie Liz =-.
aww marz… I wanna hug u… I am no good at advising, but all comments here have already pin pointed what I wanna tell you… U have given your all… I think it’s time that you fill it up again… You are not meant to be alone Marz… God has given you 3 beautiful kids and they are yours forever. Love u marz!!! I’m gonna see you in December… ayt? Hugs hugs!!!
.-= AC´s last blog ..Obstacles and Glories – 2nd Blog Anniversary Giveaway =-.
Hugs for you marz. I pray and hope you hubby will realize all his mistake. You don’t deserved to be treated that way marz rubz. He is an okay hubby if he is sober. you should take all his salary marz so that he didnt have cents to spend for beer or something.
.-= shydub´s last blog ..Mommy Moments – Mother’s Day 2010 =-.
Mommy Rubz, this is a trying time for you. I pray that the Lord comfort you and guide you with His wisdom. Just remember that God is always there. You may not understand why these things are happening now but have faith that He will never leave you nor forsake you.
.-= Chin chin´s last blog ..Wahmaholic’s Blog Makeover Giveaway =-.
Rubz, what a difficult life you have been through. A husband like that is really mind boggling and depressing in the woman’s heart. Protect your kids sis! That’s for sure the first thing to do. I’m praying for your strength!
.-= melcole´s last blog ..Thanks to Swagbucks, I saved lots of pennies in Yaysave =-.
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: I heart you Ruby! Don’t be sad and you’ve been very strong so far, hang in there and hope for the best. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be… don’t forget that when u feel down and alone. You still have your kids and ur family to get u through the worst.. more hugs and special GP sprinkle to bring back some sunshine and love your way!
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.-= Genie Princess´s last blog ..MM – Woman in Chains by Tears for Fears ft Oleta Adams =-.
hi Rubz, don’t lose your heart… to be frank, my mother is also in your position now. Think that Your children is your real wealth. only they brings you the meaning to your life. Definitely mass prayer will bring some changes in your life.
My prayers are for you
divorce fee in Malaysia expensive around USD$3000 but period also takes sometimes.
I don’t want to think of this as I find that children usually given to dad because his earning more steady and better. unlike blogging income not steady.
.-= Sherry´s last blog ..I love my job! =-.
funny thing my friend told me that divorce consideration will also involve no make love for 2 years. then you can divorce. 2 yrs?!
.-= Sherry´s last blog ..I love my job! =-.
It’s so true that it’s easy to get married but hard to get out of it.
.-= Lourdes Espanol´s last blog ..The Body Shop Moisture White Shiso Products Promo from Female Network =-.