Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
I remembered the time when melamine content was found on milk and chocolate products made from China, my son Johann David was afraid to drink, eat or touch anything that was made in China. So I asked him why this is so. Then he replied that the news said that the milk drank by the babies who died was made in China and it has melamine on it that is why it was poisonous. Then I said, why wouldn’t you touch or play with toys that are made in China. Then he replied again that the news mentioned that there are toys from China that is painted with some lead containing paint which was also poisonous and caused children to die too.
So after that discussion, I explained to him that not everything made in China is poisonous. I explained to him that those were just rare instances that quality control was not implemented thereby allowing poisonous materials spread to milk, chocolates, toys and other products. I also told him that these incidents were already corrected. I even told him if he wants to buy an EPA approved lead test kit just to test all the toys that has marking made in China just to feel safe or get a list of unsafe products so that we could avoid them.
Anyway, just to make the story short, my son understood that what happened was only a rare incident. Now, he doesn’t generalize everything that is made in China to be poisonous or unsafe. In fact, he now understands why everything is made in China because I also explained to him that most companies have their products made in China to save on labor cost thereby making products cheaper and available to the market. I also told him that mommy loves to buy China made products because they are easy on the budget. So no matter how small mommy earns, mommy can still afford a few things. Thanks to China made products!
Posted in life musings | 17 Comments »
Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
PLEASE DO NOT INCLUDE THIS POST IN YOUR BLOG REVIEWS. THANKS!
The only things that has been evident in my life are sickness and suffering. Sometimes, I asked myself several times if God has totally abandoned me because He has allowed too many pain to enter into my life that somehow I want to give it all up already.
Anyway, just the other month, on my birthday, my husband went out and enjoyed his time with his friends drinking and gambling. On the next day, he was not able to work because he was so drunk. When he came home, I asked him to leave. He agreed and took off 40% of his salary saying he will look for a place to stay. On the next day, he came back, dressed himself and went to work. When evening came, he just said sorry and told me he will never do it again. So I said, if that is so, then you should return the money to me so that I could budget it for the whole family. Unfortunately, he only returned to me 1000 out of 5000. To top it off, he already took 500 from my wallet while I was sleeping on my birthday.
Another incident happened, last Monday night, he said that his boss and his co-workers will have a meeting and there after they will have some get together. He asked me for money saying that he will pay me the next day because we will have his check changed from a bank. I said I only have a few bucks to spare, so he asked for 800 pesos. I told him if I give him money he will be tempted to visit his drinking and gambling friends but he said no he won’t be tempted. He said he wants money just to have money on his wallet so that he wouldn’t be teased by his co-workers that he doesn’t have money. So, I gave him money believing he will keep his promise.
When 12MN came, I texted his co-worker if he is still with them. They said yes but around 1AM, his co-worker texted me that my husband is nowhere to be found. He didn’t asked permission to leave. He just left them behind. So eventually, my husband didn’t work. Actually, it was our plan so that we could exchange his check and have our two daughters’ checked up because their chicken pox have worsen. Unfortunately, our plan didn’t happen because he came home around 1PM drunk and useless! I tried to talk to him and ask him why he did this again and all he was saying was sorry, sorry and sorry. But around 3:30PM, he woke up and told me to get dressed up. He said we will go somewhere and have the check exchange for cash. I was not that responsive because he was still a little bit drunk but he said hurry up. Since I needed money for the kids’ check-up and medicines, I dressed up myself and went with him.
When we arrived at the place, we got the money exchanged. He asked for three thousand and I asked back why. He said he wants money because it is his money. I told him why he wants to have the money for? He just told me that he wants it because it is his money. So I told him, if I give him money, he will just waste it on drinking and gambling. He didn’t care. He just told me to stop caring about him because that is what he is. We got into a fight again because I told him not to spend money on drinking and gambling and he said I shouldn’t care and all. He sent me home and I left him. I was crying already because of his heartless actions. So up until now, he hasn’t gone home. He is with his friends that he doesn’t want me to meet. He said he doesn’t have a girl but only men who drinks and gamble 24/7. I am not sure if he telling the truth since he always lie to me and aside from that these friends of his lives near a place where prostitutes, addicts, gamblers and drinkers abound. He loves it there.
This story is not new. This happens to our marriage almost every week. It becomes more severe when he knows I have money or it’s his payday. The cycle never ends – the drinking, the gambling, the lies and the heartless actions. He never cares.
Now, I am already in too much pain. I want the cycle to end. I want to stop being a stupid moron always believing in his lie and the dream of having a happy family. I am so tired in all my pain and suffering. I asked him many times that he should leave us if he doesn’t care for us. Leaving us is better than making us suffer from his heartless actions and unfavorable example as a parent but he woundn’t.
So, here I am now. Lonely, suffering and in utter bitterness… I really want to leave him and a pack up our things. If he will not leave us, then maybe I should. I want to leave him and bring the kids with me. I can’t stand it anymore. If I am with him, I am unhappy, bitter and angry. I am not becoming a good person because of him. He makes me angry and sad that sometimes my kids are affected too. Aside from that, he is a bad example to our children. He steals money from my wallet. He drinks. He lies. He gambles. He doesn’t care. He simply won’t care for his children even now that they are sick with chicken pox and fever. He is so heartless!
If I leave him, does that make me a bad person? A family breaker? I know I have my own mistakes but I think it is not enough for him to make me suffer relentlessly. I want to be a better person, not for myself but for my children. I want to be happy so that I can be a happy mother. I want to be strong and goal oriented, not depress, sad and emotionally battered. I want freedom… I want to be free from these endless cycle of pain, misery and depression!
PLEASE DO NOT INCLUDE THIS POST IN YOUR BLOG REVIEWS. THANKS!
Posted in rants and frustrations | 34 Comments »
Sunday, August 1st, 2010
Today is the first day of August and it is always a good day to recognize my top 10 commentators for the month of July 2010. Here are some link love for your blogs. 
The Top Two Commentators will be featured as the Star Blog of the Month! Congratulations to Marz Shydub and Sis Sherry!!
Hope to see you again next month!! 
Posted in announcement, gratitude and thankfulness | 9 Comments »
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