Archive for May, 2010
Monday, May 24th, 2010
Guess what? Somebody has finally found the road back home. Yes, my husband is now back at home with an excuse to his absences. Here goes his lame excuse of a lifetime…
When we were about to go to our church anniversary yesterday at 2PM, my husband arrived sober. He immediately went to our bedroom browsing some of our important documents. I didn’t talk to him as I was preparing for church and is hurrying up because we were running late.
So, after church, my kids, my mom and I went to McDonalds because I promised the kids that I would buy them the Shrek Forever After Happy Meal Toys for them. After McDonalds, we spent some time at the mall’s event center.
When we arrived home, I rested for awhile and talked to him. I asked him where he was and why he didn’t come home. His excuse was this… he said he didn’t come home because he was very drunk. He also said that since I got angry at him last Wednesday (going on Thursday) because he banged and kicked the door, he opted not to go home drunk because he might bang and kick our gate again. Then I asked him why did it took him two nights to go home, he replied that when he woke up last Saturday at his friend’s place, he drank again with this buddies therefore he got drunk again! So when he woke up again (Sunday), he opted to go home because he was already sober. Then I asked him if he has another woman, he said no. He said he could drink and be drunk over and over again but he would never commit the same mistake of having another woman again. He said I am more than enough for him (yeah right but he always abuse me verbally when he is drunk!).
Anyway, I don’t know how to react. This situation didn’t happen just once but so many times already. I don’t want to get angry and depress again with the same reoccurring situation. So after our talk, I just went back to our room. I didn’t raise my voice nor pick a fight on him. I had enough.
A few hours later, the whole family was watching a movie. My one and only son came to me and hugged me. I asked him to hug his daddy too. His reply…”Papa is bad. I don’t want to hug him because he is bad!” Then I asked my husband if he heard what his son just said, and he replied yes. He didn’t say anything to our son. I guess he knew that he was indeed bad and felt guilty that he couldn’t say anything more.
SIDE NOTE: Thank you for all my friends and visitors who left their comments. I appreciate all the advices and comments that you gave. As for now, I continue to implore you to please include me and my family in prayers that God would grant us victory over these challenging times. God bless you all!!
Posted in gratitude and thankfulness | 16 Comments »
Sunday, May 23rd, 2010
Last Wednesday going on Thursday, around 12mn, I heard a loud bang on our gate. My husband was banging and kicking the gate. He was shouting and I got so scared. So, I asked my mom to open it because every time my husband is drunk he tends to verbally abuse and insult me to the highest level. Then my mom opened the gate and reprimanded my husband because he was being noisy. He pushed my mom but still didn’t go inside and again walked to the road. His friends went with him and pleaded that he goes home and sleep. He was still chaotic but after a few minutes, he went home and slept at the living room. I prepared a place for him to sleep because I am afraid he might run over the baby when he is sleeping.
When morning came, he didn’t go to work. He slept all day. When he woke up, we didn’t talk. We have been like this for a week now because we had a previous fight about his drinking and now this.
Around the evening, I told him of what he did. I told him that I got scared of the things he had done which he claimed he didn’t remember. Every time he is drunk and hurt me verbally, he always said that he didn’t remember what he said or done. I told him that it’s enough. I couldn’t take it anymore to be afraid of him when he gets drunk. It’s very traumatic for me and makes me so feel down. So I told him to please change and if he doesn’t, I will ask legal help to keep him away from me and the children, verbal abuse is still abuse and I know I could get protection from it if I wanted.
Anyway, I also told him if he won’t change maybe its better that he leaves the house. Staying together is making our marriage worst because he wouldn’t give up his drinking. He always thinks that he is only drinking for fun and enjoyment. He believes I could still tolerate his behavior.
Then I was shocked by his reply. He said he will leave us. I never thought he would say that because I thought he loves me and our children than his drinking. Anyway to make the story short, he did left us. Last Friday, he left the house with some of his clothes and until now he hasn’t returned.
We had fights like this before since we got back together but he never actually leaves but now he did. So it made me believe that he has another woman again. Because like before, he was confident to leave me because he had found a woman who would support him with his drinking and would show concern. But when his other woman has no money anymore and could no longer support his wants, he left her and came back to me. Now, I think he has another woman again because he never leaves another one if he couldn’t find another to replace where he could feed on its kindness.
Another thing, he always leave me with many financial problems just like before. Like now, we have many debts to pay (good for him because it’s always on my name), the children’s going back to school thus we need money for their school needs and its Bella’s dedication.
Before, I was able to confirm he had another woman on our son’s child dedication. He was not able to attend because he was with his another woman. Now, it’s our second daughter’s dedication this coming Saturday and he is nowhere to be found. He knew I needed his help financially and morally but he is nowhere.
So, it made me ponder so hard, am I back living a life of a single mom again? Is this the finality of all the sacrifice I made to keep this marriage together? Am I born to be alone? Is this it? My confusion is making me sad.
Posted in rants and frustrations | 31 Comments »
Saturday, May 22nd, 2010
My sweet dear Marz Shy of Life Mix gave me this Sweet Blog Award. This is my second blog award here in Mommy Rubz. My first was given Marz Chris of Chris Chronicles and it was the Sisterhood Award.
Thank you Mommy Marz Shy for this Sweet Blog Award! You are sweet yourself too!
Blog Awarding Rules:
1. Pass it to 10 Sweet people.
2. Inform them about this award.
3. Link back the one who gave this award.
Now, I am also awarding this Sweet Blog Award to Marz Elvz, Marz Shy, Marz Willa, Marz AC, Marz Cacai, Marz Paula, Marz Peh, Marz Chris, Marz Genny, Sis Sherry and Sis Marose. 
Posted in blog awards | 13 Comments »
Saturday, May 22nd, 2010
Marose of My Red Hot Reviews tagged me with this. She said she wants to know more about me and I am very much flattered. 
So, if you want to know more about me too, you may read on…
1. What time did you get up this morning?
I didn’t sleep all night. I was awake until 10AM. 
2. How do you like your steak?
I don’t want it to be dry. I want it to be juicy. 
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Iron Man 2 with my husband. 
4. What is your favorite TV show?
I rarely watch TV. I am more of a movie buff but I like Kyle XY (2006-2009) and Homefront (1991-1993). These are closed TV series. 
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Canada. I dream for my family to live there. 
6. What did you have for breakfast?
As of yesterday, hotdogs. I haven’t eaten breakfast as of today. 
7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Filipino, Mexican and Italian.
8. What foods do you dislike?
I like eating that is why I try to eat anything old and new except those which are out of the ordinary. 
9. Favorite place to eat?
Home with my mom, dad and hubby’s cooking. 
10. Favorite dressing?
No favorites!
11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
I don’t drive cause we don’t have a car. 
12. What are your favorite clothes?
Pajamas and t-shirt when at home. Jeans and polo shirt when running errands. 
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Japan, Malaysia, Singapore, Europe, Alaska, Canada and the US. 
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Half full! Happiness is a state of mind.
15. Where would you want to retire?
Cagayan de Oro City or wherever my own home will be.
16. Favorite time of day?
Night time. 
17. Where were you born?
At home, somewhere in Cagayan de Oro City. 
18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Boxing and basketball.
19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
Hmmmmm… I don’t know. 
20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
No Idea. 
21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
Errrrrr… 
22. Birdwatcher?
Nope but will do if I have the chance. 
23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
The question is, do you sleep? LOL!
24. Do you have any pets?
Yes, I do. We have Korina 
and Panda 
.
25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?
My baby will be 8 months old tomorrow!! 
(more…)
Posted in tags and memes | 12 Comments »
Friday, May 21st, 2010
When I saw this week’s theme at Mommy Moments, I thought of not doing it because I never considered my Mother’s Day this year special or so as the previous ones. My husband and my children always forget about it. I actually don’t blame the children because they are young. I always believe it’s the father’s responsibility to make them aware and to teach them to make momma feel special just like I always teach my children during Father’s Day. (LOL! I sounded so bitter. Hahahaha…)
Anyway, I decided to join because being happy in life is always a state of mind. So, I considered this year special because this is the only year that I was able to buy myself my own Mother’s Day gift. I bought a GE A1035 digital camera from blogging earnings!! Then another thing, my son remembered to give me a special “I love you Mom” message on the next day which is Monday. It was his belated Mother’s Day gift to me!!
So, in whatever perspective in life I am looking, I still think that my Mother’s Day is still special though the ways of how it was considered “special” is not the same as the usual ways compared to others.
Posted in tags and memes | 17 Comments »
Thursday, May 20th, 2010
Last Tuesday, my son took an exam for him to be admitted as a Grade One. When the teacher arrived, she asked me who my son is and then why she didn’t saw him took the summer classes which is very optional. I replied with respect and decency. Not hearing my reply, she continued asking around with other parents.
Then a little later, I told her that my son’s surname was wrong. Then she sarcastically replied that it was not her fault but the school’s administrative secretary who typed. 
So when the examiner arrived, I told her about my son’s surname. The examiner told me not to worry because the teacher will correct this when the school starts. Then out of nowhere, the teacher sarcastically “again” told me that she already told me that she will take care of it. 
She’s been sarcastic to me in front of many people since the time she knew that my son was not under her optional summer tutorials.
When the exams started, I stayed outside the room. Then this teacher again reprimanded the parents that the examiner knows how to give the exam so we better not disturb them. I mean OK…she can always say it nicely but she was always being sarcastic.
After the exam, I asked my son how was it. He said everything was fine except that he was not able to spell eighty nine properly. He said that was his only wrong. So, I was expecting that my son will stay at that section (which I was hoping not because of the teacher) or maybe go up a notch or down but when I came today. I was so shocked to see that my son was placed in the last section!! I couldn’t believe it!! I felt so betrayed by that teacher who didn’t want students who didn’t took summer tutorials from her!! 
Anyway, I didn’t want to make a fuss about it but continued with the enrollment. I was kind of disappointed with result but still I want to be descent in everything. So, I went to my son’s new teacher who was very tactful and respectful. She accommodated and respected everybody.
While I was filling up the form for my son’s enrollment, I overheard some parents that talked about the sarcastic teacher. They said she always get into fights with parents because she is so tactless and sarcastic. If she has fights with the parents, probably she will take it to the children’s grades. She is also known for being a teacher who likes to receive gifts! 
After overhearing this, I said to myself, maybe it was really better that my child was taken out from her. I might spend more than the usual just to make her like my son eventhough she doesn’t like me. Anyway, was I wrong to ask in the first place about the wrong spelling of my son’s surname?? I think every parent’s who doesn’t want to have problems in the future wants everything to be in place with no mistake.
By the way, I am not sour grapping here because my son was placed at the last section. I know my son’s capacity and I know he will make better in every endeavor he faces. I am just so pissed with that tactless and sarcastic teacher. She just annoyed me!! Grrr…
Posted in rants and frustrations | 15 Comments »
Thursday, May 20th, 2010
Tell Me Thursday is a complimentary meme for Wordless Wednesday. This meme is where you blog about the picture you have posted for Wordless Wednesday.
As for my entry, Wordless Wednesday: Future Blogger, you can see my daughter Bella Grace tinkering at an old keyboards of mine. I gave it to her so that she could play with it instead of mine which is attached at the PC. Cause every time she sees me at my PC, she wants to play with the keyboards and make sounds with the keys. So, I gave her the old one instead.
Anyway, I also told her that I am giving her a keyboards first and will add the missing component every five years. So I guess I will be buying her a monitor at 5 years old and the CPU at 10 right? LOL!!
Posted in tags and memes | 6 Comments »
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